Did you see it?

I saw it.

And so did everyone watching any of the television nightly tabloids.  If you missed it there, Matt Lauer took the opportunity a week later to make sure the 5 million plus viewers of the Today Show knew it happened, too.

Zac Efron had the unthinkable happen on the red carpet.

He dropped a condom. Right there in front of Mom, who no doubt was watching, and America.

The video of the incident on You Tube has received nearly 5 million hits.

Is there something about an all-American heart-throb having an “OMG” moment in front of God and everybody we find comforting?

Of course, when a condom makes a guest appearance on the red carpet at the debut of a children’s film  you can be assured the media will not let it lie. You bet it is going to become tabloid fodder.

Zac’s come back to Lauer exemplified his great mental recovery after the incident. When asked about the unannounced and accidental appearance of the condom on the carpet, what could have sent anyone hiding, gave our teen heart-throb an opportunity to master the reframe.

With a slight smirk, he admitted it was indeed a condom (Rule #1: Take personal responsibility.) and he took charge of the awkward conversation turning it into a teachable moment to all the youth (and those old enough to be his mom) who look up to him. He even called Matt on his bumbling of the word “condom” and said there was nothing to be embarrassed about, citing promoting safe sex was just another great message to add to the many messages within the film.  What a great reframe for what could have been a mental setback.

We all have those moments we wished would have never happened. The rebound happens on the reframe and in the meaning we gave to the incident.

Is there something  that happened in your life, an incident to which you attached a meaning that is not moving you forward? Is there a way you can remessage the meaning you’ve given yourself that will be more empowering and help move you forward?

If you want to create success you have to know failure. You can hang your hat on these words. They are tested by a pro. Me. It’s easy to forget in these times when we seem to see so many overnight successes that there is no such thing as an instant success. In the digital age people who were unknowns become big with their names flashing from the internet louder than neon lights seemingly out of no where.Instant success? No.Try Hard work, trial and error, and modification behind everything.

Many coaching clients come to me defeated and defined by their failures. Carefully, like a seamstress sewing together a beloved rag doll, I carefully stitch them back up again.

We need to reframe failure.

Failure is nothing more than learning; its feedback the Universe is giving you about what is NOT working as you go forward on the road to success. Too many people pitch a tent and camp out in failure way longer than necessary. When it’s time to continue, beaten down and in a less than resourceful state of mind their journey is easily derailed.

Maybe it’s the economy, but lately I’ve encountered more than my share of defeated people. They tend to be tire-kickers, calling for a coaching strategy session, but not wanting to commit to the work change suggests. They want easy and instant. The very thing that brings them in the door is what is keeping them down – their mindset.

I agree, it isn’t fun to be one of 102 people who met the application qualifications for a position, only to be turned down for the interview, again. I understand you didn’t decide to open your business because you had visions of struggle. It’s a bummer when one door after another seems to close.

Successful people view a NO as “next opportunity”. Have the faith that this is not the opportunity that would have brought you success. Is this Pollyannaish?

No. Don’t let your failures define you.

As I watched my granddaughter learn to walk I recognized somewhere between kindergarten and graduation we teach people to believe what happens to them is a direct measure of their competence and worth. I watched as she stepped forward, tired and feel. Undaunted, she stood back up again and the chubby little foot thrust forward again for a few steps, followed by another fall. At 16 months she didn’t have the capacity to think of falling as failure. She knew one thing. She had her eyes on the dog, the doll, or the toy that was in front of her and she was going to have it, no matter how many times it moved, or she fell in the process. If she got tired, she resorted to crawling and kept going forward after her desired object. She didn’t give up and sit there, calling herself a loser. She used the resources with which she was familiar, in this case, her hands and knees, and scooted toward her treasured object.

The ability to persevere, to keep your eyes on the prize, perhaps even stretching beyond your comfort zone in the face of a perceived challenge is the hallmark of those who succeed verses those who fall short of success. People who are successful at anything have refined their ability to convert life’s setbacks into stepping stones to future success.

Somewhere along the way many people lose the success mindset that is seemingly inherent in infants. That big fat “F” boldly centered in red ink on our paper means “feedback needed” not failure. We’ve done our kids a disservice in allowing “F’s”. If there was a no “F” policy, that you had to work until you brought it up, we would be giving students a different message about failure. If you get an “F” it is feedback you don’t own the knowledge yet, so you need to try again.

The way we handle it now, failure has been distorted from an action (Oops- that didn’t work; that’s not it.) to an identity (I am a failure; I am a loser.) Of course, with this mindset you are going to attract and or create more experiences to prove you are right.  Defeat builds upon defeat until the defeated are too exhausted to try.

Don’t let your failures define you. Allow them in. Befriend them, learn from them. There are many paths to success and you have eliminated one that didn’t work for you.

I’m sitting here, pondering what to write about passion.  After all it is February, month of love and passion… and out of the corner of my eye I glimpse a young cat as it stealthily stalks a very large crow in the back garden. Perhaps it was the back and forth swaying of the cat’s tail as it readied for the pounce, or maybe I just needed a distraction from writing, but momentarily, I became entranced by the actions of this cat.

I recognize its presence in my garden at this exact moment to be a “wink from the Universe.” I’m pondering passion and this cat shows up in my garden as a teacher! Let me share the insights.

Play with passion. Passion helps us to push through tasks that we might otherwise find mundane or intimidating – like waiting for the perfect moment to pounce on a LARGE black crow.

Let passion be your guide. Energy takes over inside when you allow passion to guide you. You step into a flow and begin to live with intentionality where you are connected with a source of universal source energy which naturally opens you to the highest and best outcome in any situation. Quantum physics has shown that the field of intentionality is part of the unified field of consciousness, a place of unlimited possibilities.

As I watch the cat, it is purely driven by a passionate intentionality. Its focus is to express its Divine essence as cat and catch a bird. In doing so it draws upon innate assets. There is no question of “how” in this cat’s expression, only focused concentration that leads to inspired action. Often, in expressing our passion, many people get bogged down in the “how’s”. How will I find the money? How will I pay the bills? How will I find the time, the resources, the skill the….? People get so mired in the “how’s”, that they extinguish the light of passion.

Trust the Universe to deliver your resources and welcome the unexpected. Attracted by the squawking of the crow, a few scrub jays, finches and pigeons have flown into the area and are lighting on the up most branches of the tree.

Passion is naturally attractive. Not only is it attractive to others because of the energy a passionate person gives off while in pursuit of their goal, but passion is magnetic. More resources and opportunities appear when you play with passion. When passion is present we all want to step in for a piece of the action.

Take the big risk. Now with the tree full of other birds, the cat takes the big leap from the ground to the trunk, to the next branch, and the next and before I know it, I’m outside to see exactly how high this little thing is going to go. Fueled by desire, eyes on the prize, it is going to the top. As the birds at the top see that there is nothing standing in the way of the cat’s determination, they take flight.

As I watch the cat, I am reminded that living with passion is pretty simple when you come right down to it.

Focus on your dream, follow the flow, trust that what you need will be there to support you, take giant leaps of faith, and keep looking up!